Tuesday

If I was brave enough.....

Took a day off today as I had the doctor and the psychiatrist.

Dr was ok, talked about stuff and got more meds.

Lunch out with my book then along to see Grandma.

Then up to see the psychiatrist. Yet again another new one. It's hard to see a different person every 2 or 3 visits, they all have different opinions on things and I get conflicting stories.
I raised my concern over my short term memory getting worse. She doesn't put it down to the ECT, she thinks it's my anti depressants and my anxiety. No matter who I see, I manage to end up in tears.
I talked about my anxiety and the amount of panic attacks, we both decided that I could up my anxiety meds. So instead of trying to go down in meds, I'm going up. This also upset me.

She talked about doing memory tests if in 2 months I don't see an improvement.
So instead of 6 monthly appointments in the hope of gradually withdrawing from the Royal Ed I am increasing them.
A negative appointment in my view.

I went for a coffee afterwards but I ended up in tears re living the appointment.
I came home, self harmed and lay on the sofa.