An Orkney Jetty

Folk sometimes say that Orkney has a ‘big sky’.  Well today, being left to my own devices, I set out to measure it.  I took my portable, two-part, aluminium step ladder and (I’m not stupid) my measuring tape.  I started.  I found it difficult to make a mark on the sky with my felt tip to the point where I had measured previously.  After two measures I gave up.  When I got home I found I couldn’t even extrapolate.

After my observations here is my advice:

Within a tape measure or two, wherever you are reading this, has the same size sky.  This may necessitate removing a few buildings to appreciate full effect.  Folk who stay in hilly regions may have to remove a few foothills.

If you persist in thinking that Orkney has a big sky then come and measure.  For comparison reasons you could bring your own sky with you.  Obviously though this would mean getting in touch with the Ministry of Atmospheres in advance.

Another alternative is to visit Orkney with a tin of dehydrated sky*.  However this may prove tricky if more than one person attempted this at the same time.   

I was taken hook line and sinker last night by a certain Mr Flett.  He advised me there is a new boat at the jetty.  I’m just back from the jetty and there isn’t.

*Dehydrated Sky** has replaced tins of dehydrated scenery (which used to sell at all good Army and Navy Stores).  The strap line on the tin used to be ‘...just add water and you’re in the Swiss Alps’.  It wasn’t inexpensive.

**May be substituted by Snibbo at any given time.