A Whole New World

My Dear Princess & Dear Fellows,

Inspired by the Princess's extensive Tupperware collection, I went to town today to pick up clickable storage boxes.

I know, I know. We've come a long way from my exciting blips about Starting A New Life and A Whole New World to "today I bought Tupperware".

As it happens, I even went to a store NAMED "New World" for cooking & bakeware. There, they had the most organised display of carrots I have ever seen. They must have had their most OCD member of staff stood there for six or seven hours, slotting straight vegetables, and discarding the bendy ones*.

It is a good thing that I am very mature or I might have pulled on the bottom carrot while shouting "JENGA!" and starting a carrot avalanche.

They also had an "International Foods" section (see extra) which included Jaffa Cakes, Yorkshire Tea and Sherbert Dabs. But no, stay strong Parsones, you're a Kiwi now...

While this was going on, Er Indoors was meeting Miranda our landlady for lunch. She described Miranda as a proper lady who shops at "David Jones", which I believe is Wellington's most exclusive, high-end shop. When Er Indoors met her, she was in the Xmas department, looking at a decorated Xmas tree.

"I want that one," she said to the assistant. "Decorated exactly as it is. I don't want to do it myself."
"Oh, that was done by our window-dresser," said the assistant. "I don't think we sell it like that."
"No," said Miranda. "That doesn't work for me. I want it as it is now. You can sell me that one and then your window-dresser can do another one."
The hapless assistant was unsure what to do.
"I'm going to have coffee with Er Indoors now," said Miranda. "When I get back you can tell me how you're going to make this work for me."

"They were probably wondering who the eff 'Er Indoors' is," said Er Indoors to me later.

But you CAN get away with this sort of thing in New Zealand. I've seen Feefs do it too. There's definitely a different, higher level of customer service they seem to do here. I'm having trouble getting used to it.

When I got home from town, I had a most unexpected but delightful phone call from a Princess on her way home after a good night out. Princess, you are a HOOT. I wish I could have been there with you but sadly here I am in a "f*ckwittery time zone" as you put it.

But look at it this way, at least when you feel the need for a chat in the early hours (your time) I will always be there for you (my time).

S.

* Which reminds me. I read an article yesterday about things that A&E staff have removed from people's bottoms. I like intellectual things like that.

The weirdest one was definitely a live eel. Which the man claimed he had put up there to cure his constipation. I have no idea how that is supposed to work. I can see how it might work as a THREAT - as in "You'd better go for a poo right NOW or I'll shove this eel somewhere" but not in actuality.

But anyway, I mentioned this to Er Indoors who said, "Did it mention the Auckland man with the fizzy pop bottle?" and I said, "How did you KNOW?!"

It turns out this man is famous. He brought a lawsuit afterward because he was mortified that he'd gone viral when Auckland healthcare staff started emailing the story about. Apparently he won thousands in court.

I'm just saying. If you are running short of funds and have lubricant in the house. Uniformly-straight carrot. Sherbert dab. Clickable Tupperware. Think about it.