Ger-Granville Fetch A Cloth

My Dear Fellows & Princess Normal,

One of the things I love most about our new flat is the storage space. There was room for nothing in my last kitchen. What cupboard space we had was FILLED with wine glasses.

I hate to impugn Mazza, my good friend who lived there before us, so I'll say no more on the subject.

(Whispers: Clearly had a problem. Lovely girl. Total effing lush.)

Now I have more space than I know what to do with. My favourite thing is the big pantry which I have been filling up with yummy ingredients. It has got to the stage where I open the cupboard and it looks like "Open All Hours".

Er Indoors just looked in there. "Christ!" she said. "There's a whole Mexican restaurant in there!"

I didn't point out that it was just a front for the Italian and the curry-shop hiding in the corners. But I love it. Sometimes I just open the cupboard and take deep sniffs and am hit by the herby, garlicky, chili-ey smells.

Is it wrong for a grown man to be made so happy by his condiment collection?

Perhaps. But I am unapologetic.

S.

p.s. CULTURAL DIFFERENCES CORNER: The Kiwis are OBSESSED with aioli. You can get it in bottles, squeezies and tubs. They offer it to you at every fast-food place instead of ketchup, and it comes with different flavours. But conversely, I CANNOT find guacamole anywhere. Not even out of those horrible squeezy-bottles where the guac tastes like stale cabbage.

It's not a huge hassle to make my own, but sometimes I want guac and I want it NOW. By going over the road to ScotMid and buying a tub and without having to wait for the three avocados on my window-sill to ripen.

HURRY UP AND RIPEN, DAMN YOU!!

Now that I think on it, I made guac for Feefs & Big Nipper a few weeks ago. Feefs ate the whole bowl before BN even had the chance to pick up a tortilla chip. "Holy f*cken sh*tballs man, that was awesome," she said.

Now it makes sense. This must be a GUAC-DEPRIVED country.

I'm going to make a big batch and then freeze it. CAN you freeze it? I'll let you know...