Birdland

My Dear Princess & Fellows,

Today I took the free shuttle from the top of the cable car to Zealandia. It is stunning, it's this enclosed eco-sanctuary, created with the aim of -

BABY DUCKS! BABY DUCKS!

You know, the sanctuary, full of native wildlife is amazing and beautiful. So it is somewhat embarrassing to me that the highlight of my visit was -

BABY DUCKS! EVERYWHERE! LOTS OF BABY DUCKS!

Yes, I know they are called ducklings. But seriously, these were just little baby ducks, puttering about like fluffy little clockwork creations, being shepherded about by a protective mum who kept quacking the whole time to ensure they didn't venture too far.

Most of my time in the sanctuary was spent looking at birds actually. Once you've left the main path it is easy to lose yourself, wandering the dappled tracks and surrounded by birds going -

Peep-peep
Toot
A-ooh a-ooh
Honk
Wah-wah
BLAT

The noises are so unfamiliar that it reminded me of one of those Doug McLure films with man-eating plants and ants the size of dogs. Or maybe like Jurassic Park only with BABY DUCKS instead of raptors. I also saw a native parrot, some sort of golden finch thing that made a PARP noise and lots of tuis.

Also a blackbird. I kept getting excited because I could hear a bird in the undergrowth and I'd turn around and there he would be again. I think he was following me. "I'm f***ing wildlife too!" he seemed to say.

I took his picture. I didn't want him to feel left out.

All this looking up into the trees reminded me of the hazards of New Zealand birdlife. I'm sure I've told you my Naughty Fantail Story before right? Really? You've forgotten it? In that case, pull up a chair and I'll tell you -

MY NAUGHTY FANTAIL STORY
When Er Indoors and I spent three months staying with her parents in Tauranga in 2001, my mother-in-law J-Bar told me there were fantails in the back garden.

They are about the size of sparrows, but with a marvellous display of a tail. "And they make kissy-kissy noises," J-Bar informed me. She was right. They were just adorable.

"If you make the kissy noises back, they'll talk to you," continued J-Bar. I was suspicious. She had a history of taking the p*ss. But I was willing to give it a go. I made the kissy-kissy noises and to my surprise and delight, they called right back.

"That's AMAZING!" I said. I kept it up and the fantails hopped lower and lower in the tree, calling back to me. I felt like a Disney Princess! I felt like Dr. Dolittle! I was having a Nature Moment! I could talk to the birds! They came closer and closer... I was SO happy.

Then one of them SHAT. Right in my ear. To be precise, right in my ear HOLE. I told J-Bar who I was sure would be sympathetic. I was right, only first she needed to PEE herself laughing.

"You need to go inside and wash out the inside of your ear," she said helpfully. "But first, wait while I get my camera."

She also made sure to call Er Indoors and Feefs so the whole family could join in the fun.

Regardless, I continue to love birds, and wildlife generally. So I really loved it up there. I spent well over two hours wandering about and barely scratched the surface. Fortunately, I've bought myself a membership, so I'll definitely be making more visits.

One more time.

BABY DUCKS!

S.