Bough-ing out.....

So.....it has been predicted that today, the world will end; smashed to pieces by a rogue planet called Nibiru.

As I write, we have precisely 7 minutes left, so I'm going to make the most of them by speed-eating a bag of Maltesers, and phoning the ex to tell him I always knew he secretly waxed his eyebrows, and that his mother's Yorkshires were never as good as mine.

Two minutes left....it's been a delight knowing a few some all of you.

30 seconds to go.

Farew.........