Half Time

Dear Princess Normal and Fat Pete,

Friday LONDON
21:35 GMT: It is nearly boarding time for the London-Singapore leg of the journey. We have just had confirmation that Punky and Jasper are at the quarantine centre and sound as if they are doing well. We have sent them their favourite biscuits and blankets by courier post. This is not at all a cat crazy thing to do. No it is not.

Saturday SOMEWHERE OVER THE INDIAN OCEAN
7:28 GMT:
I think I'm going to be awake now. I fell asleep just around midnight after The Nice Lady showed me how to unfold my bed. I think she looked at me and realised I was useless. The bed is 2 foot wide and about 4 feet long but that's enough for me when curled up in the foetal position. I usually have to sleep around cats so this is luxury.

Princess, you would love this because it is like train travel. Only instead of an M&S bag, The Nice Lady brings you treats. The Nice Lady is relentless in this and I hate to refuse her. Er Indoors is delighted, shuffling about and playing with the remote and applying her hot towel and having elaborate mocktails. I had champagne because woohoo. Then The Nice Lady brought me beef rendang for supper followed by limoncello ice cream with raspberry coulis. I effing LOVE things that come with an effing coulis. This is because I am refined.

Pete, you would love this because it is a bit like travelling in a sleeper train like in "Some Like It Hot". Pass the maraschino cherries.

Saturday APPROACHING SINGAPORE
10:40 (GMT)
I am going to the toilet every 15 minutes. It is ridiculous. I blame atmospheric pressure.

Saturday SINGAPORE
18.30 (Local Time)
We have landed at Changi airport.

It transpires that someone has HALF-INCHED several hours out of my Saturday!

This had better not happen again between here and New Zealand or I shall be CROSS.

S.