Trusting

Today has felt a lot more serious. Not only because of the final, formal meeting with the novice master this afternoon, but more so because this morning we spent a good ninety minutes writing out the various documents that will be signed on Saturday after we take vows.


Two of these - a petition to join the Society and a formal declaration about what we understand the vows to mean - are written into two different books. This moment is captured in today's picture of the day, featuring the hands of fellow novices Christopher and Teo.


It was fascinating looking through these decades-old books to see the petitions and declarations of Jesuits I have come to know well, and in particular, Jesuits who have played an important part in my journey. The books are not only a living history, but most strikingly for me, a continuous black-ink-thread of hope, faith and trust in God. Page after page, the same words written in very different hands. Men of every shape, size and outlook, brought together and expressing a shared desire to give ourselves completely in the service of others and of God.


In addition to these books, we write our vow formula (the text of our vows), the petition and declaration on a folded A3 sheet. This has very carefully measured margins, so that when it goes into the central headquarters, the Curia, it can be filed and perfectly aligned with the many, many thousands of others - it is an image that, again, speaks of both diversity and uniformity, unity and individuality.


The word that resonated most powerfully, each time I wrote it, was 'trusting'. I will be trusting in God that, yes, this is the right path. In so many respects it is a leap of faith, it is a step into the unknown - but of course, that is the reality of every new day, even if we don't always recognise it or admit it.


I will be trusting that God gives me the gifts and graces I need to live this life well. As the vow formula says, Lord, "as you have conferred the grace to desire and make this offering, so too you will confer grace in abundance for its fulfilment". That is a hope and, today, also my prayer.


We each made at least one mistake as we wrote out the various texts. Luckily, I am not superstitious. Rather I see it as a simple expression of reality. This is not a promise of perfection, but a commitment to give my all. A commitment made knowing that God is never outdone in generosity.