Scraps

My Dear Fellow,

It was about 12:30 when we got in last night, and both Er Indoors and I were kind of shattered. Not that the train journey was bad - in fact it was very pleasant - but five hours sitting on your bum makes you both numb and a little worn out.

It was a draining weekend in lots of ways. The Bridlington Relatives have completely hectic lives. I do not know how they do it. So the entire weekend was Tups rushing from one place to another. It was madness.

On Friday, she stayed up to 3am to pick up Lovely Niece #2 from a night club (this was planned, not impromptu) then drove to Sheffield for the football the next day, back again to meet us for dinner at 8pm, then to Filey to pick up Lovely Niece #2 from her job at 11pm. Oh, and she dropped us off at our hotel on the way.

Sunday she had more ferrying to do. Picking up dad from church, then us, then Lovely Niece #1 who was heading out later to celebrate her birthday with mates in Scarborough, but let's not forget Lovely Niece #2 was working in Filey in the afternoon.

So at one point there were 6 of us in her car – my dad, both nieces and me squished together in the back as we hurried hither & yon. On the plus side, we actually had a great laugh and Er Indoors got some hilarious pictures of all 6 of us squashed together. Also, Tups drove along Scarborough sea-front and Er Indoors got to sample a yellow-top.

Totally worth it.

We said goodbye to both nieces in the afternoon. It was tough, because they are both so loveable in very different ways. LN#1 was telling us about her plans to go and do worthwhile things around the planet, while LN#2 wants to spend in year in Paris and become an actress. I hope they both do it, or at least have fun having exploits while trying.

After saying goodbye to the nieces, Tups drove us back to Bridlington where my dad had promised us a slap-up cream tea. He was CRUSHED to find the place closed. I felt so bad for him. He had been talking about this ALL WEEKEND. So instead it was fish suppers back at his flat. A fish supper fixes all ills.

“Do yer want scraps wi’ that?” asked the lady.

Do you do scraps in Scotland? In all my years in Edinburgh I’ve never seen it. In Yorkshire, you can get the little crispy battery bits that break off the fish as it cooks, scooped into a bag so you can add them as fatty garnish to your meal. It is WONDERFUL. With salt & vinegar I could quite happily just eat a bag of scraps. Or put them into a white-bread sandwich. HEALTH NOTE: None of these options are particularly slimming. Oh just eff off, Jamie Oliver.

At my dad’s we discovered his smart tv had started acting daft. It had lost the internet and I couldn’t figure out how to reconnect it. My cousin Vinny showed up to say goodbye to us, but instead of that we spent the whole time trying to fix the telly (in the end he managed it by “switching the router off and back on again”).

So our final couple of hours were nearly eaten up. It didn’t help when – just as it was fixed - Er Indoors suggested we rearrange the furniture because the telly looked like it was on the wonk.

She had a point, but seriously. It wasn’t the best farewell. I’d only just got everything wired back up again when it was time to go. And in the rush, all the hectic, all the frantic, all the laughing at our debacles, I forgot I was leaving. For good. When I said goodbye to dad & Vinny, I was thinking that I'd be back down soon, as always. Oooh, and don't forget to make a note of the wireless router key...

I only remembered properly at the railway station when Tups said, “I promised myself I wouldn’t cryeeeeeee…” and she was off, running back to her car with flapping hands in a backwards goodbye before it struck me why she was crying. Ohhhh… that’s right….

I think I was quite quiet on the way home. Er Indoors napped and I looked at my iPad. Goodbyes, especially ones made up of scraps, are difficult things to absorb.

Parsones