I had intended...

...going out for a treat today, but after yesterday with the noise of the coffee machines interfering with the cochlear mapping or processor, Brain needed sleep when I got home. I just couldn't do anything.

It was with a group of friends and we booked an afternoon tea. I had already vetoed a couple of place because the coffee machines were interfering badly with my cochlear processor and mapping. I didn't know the place we were going so I was hoping all would be okay.

Unfortunately this turned out to be the worst place ever. The processor cut out all sound initially just for a second each time they used the coffee machines, and then went on to high pitched flat tone continuous whine tone. As if I was flatlining.

Because we had booked several tables we couldn't move as the place was full. Then they were using another similar type of machine to clean stuff, and this did the same with the processor.

I did try to explain to my friends how bad it was for me and what was happening, but they said it was noisy for them too. They didn't realise what was happening to my processor...it is not easy to explain.

If this happens to me again I will walk out and go home if we cannot be reseated.

I didn't realise the implications of yesterday afternoon for me. I got home. But trying to do stuff, I was struggling badly. I couldn't understand why. I managed to do my painting a day, and it was a very quick throwing on watercolours and a water spray and photographing while wet. Then I was so tired so I went to bed to post it. I fell asleep before I had posted it. Usually Blipfoto says tough, it's time out if I take too long before I press send. But I managed to send it when I woke up a few minutes later. Phone was still in my hand.

It was just gone 6 pm. I woke up just before 9:30 pm, then went flat out until nearly 6am this morning. I don't sleep that well. I usually wake up every couple of hours, and my eyes need constant eye drops in the night. My eyes were stuck this morning when I woke up. So it is gel eyedrops today.

I felt like I was trapped in my dreams last night, as though sleep wouldn't release me. I didn't have nightmares. I can only assume Brain needed recuperation after that noise yesterday afternoon.

I realised when I got up to go in the garden to look at the sky brightening that I had gone hypersensitive again like I was when I first had this drastic re mapping about a couple months ago. Hypersensitive to 'hearing' sound with the processor and in my body.

So I went back to bed for another sleep. Got up again.

Still hypersensitive.

I did have the cochlear processor on and the radio was playing. In the end I took the processor out, because Brain didn't want incoming sound.

I went into the next room to do something and picked up a piece of paper. I could feel the vibrations of the radio playing from the other room...was that it?

I put the piece of paper down. And then I could feel vibrations in my finger tips. And then vibrations like rods down my fingers.

I got the processor and went back into the front room where the radio was playing, and got the processor on quickly. And then I got the feelings of vibrations in my finger tips...it was when cymbals were being played in the song on the radio, and then I got the rod vibrations down my fingers. And that was another part of the music playing.

The radio wasn't on loud. It was just at a normal level ish.

I take the processor off again (and so there is no incoming sound) and go into the other room, and I can still feel different kinds of vibrations in my hands. I can still feel the vibrations in whatever object I pick up, they intensify in different ways depending on what the object is.

I begin crying.

I put the processor back on, and I am hearing the radio again. But I am still feeling the vibrations in my hands whether I have incoming sound or not.

Then I realise something which seems strange to me. I am in the next room to where the radio is playing, and I realise I can 'hear' the next bit of music the radio is playing at the same time it is playing what it is playing.

How do I explain this? So you can understand and tell me if it is normal?

I have been listening a lot to this particular radio station since I had this drastic remapping, and the same songs are repeated many times during the week, and repeated during the day a couple of times or so. So in this I have got used to the songs, even if I don't know who sings them or what the words are.

So, a particular musical phrase/bit/few lines are being played on the radio BUT at the exact the same moment of time I am 'hearing' the following musical phrase/bit/few lines. So they are superimposed on top of each, yet I can hear them as separate entities. And so it is going on. Do you get that as you listen to songs?

Then comes on a song Brain seems to have been very attached to ever since it heard it on the radio with this new cochlear remapping. So I go in and listen to it. The song is "Can't fight this feeling" by REO Speedwagon. It seems to soothe Brain.

I have never downloaded a song before. But I did this to my phone. I didn't know if it would automatically transfer to my iPad, but it did. So I was made up because the sound is better.

I am streaming this to my processor at the moment playing this on repeat. Streaming gives a fuller sound.

I can feel myself becoming calmer. And I think. I have no idea what the words are. I cannot make them out. I can't even make out if the title is in the song anywhere, but that is fine because whatever I am receiving from this song and music is calming to me and Brain.

I went and ironed this encaustic wax painting, because I wasn't sure what the rest of the day would bring, or how I would feel later. It is with the tiny travel iron I call Dinky, and is on cartridge paper which is why the effect is different than on shiny paper. It took longer heating up Dinky than it did doing the painting. I just ironed on colours and this is the result. So this is my pic for today for my challenge to myself of a pic every day in 2017.

The sun has just come out so I going out in the garden now. Cat, Popeye, hasn't left my side since I woke up.

I am still playing this song on repeat...



( I was born profoundly deaf, and had the cochlear implant about 8 years ago. Then a couple of months ago I had a drastic remapping because I wasn't hearing so well with it. My experience with music all my life has just been vibrations. So I don't have prior experience with music because I have never been hearing. Since this drastic remapping I am now listening to music, but this won't be as a hearing person hears music )