Dead Pets at Home

Dear Pets at Home,

Look what you have done to this poor 5-year-old today!

It all started so well: a drive to Chesterfield to see what new fish we could buy to lighten up our lives (the little fellas don't half keep us happy as they swim around their tank - there is little else to do in Bakewell on a rainy Sunday). Imagine our excitement when we saw that you had just three minnows left - perfect company for the three we already have. So we bought all three, especially pleased at the "Buy 3 for £4" offer, saving a much-needed 47p from the total their £1.49 unit price would have otherwise cost us, and drove home as fast as the speed limits on the country roads would allow us to do legally and without sloshing our new best friends within their temporary container.

Imagine the disappointment, the emotional turmoil, the complete distress when we pulled out the inflated, half-filled bag from its outer, brown-paper covering to see one floating upside down on the surface. The other two looked positively shocked at having to complete the journey with a fallen comrade, shielded and isolated from a caring world by that damn brown-paper bag. We can only pray that it was the one that worked out to be £1.02 due to the multibuy option as detailed above.

I can only hope you have more success with packaging the rabbits to get them home safely.

Yours with salt-stained tear tracks to clean up,
Hollowspy