Nailed

As a reformed bite and neglecter of nails, I have rarely had opportunities to paint or decorate long nails but for some peculiar reason, and despite gardening and other obstacles these talons have appeared... all my own.  But I have no idea how to maintain them and they are too long for a riffle through the pages of the Guardian or typing or using my phone, and as for putting butterflies on my earrings..... ! I can't bear to clip them and I'm hopeless with filing.  Guess i'll just have to waiting for the inevitable first break followed by mayhem!