Dominance

An anecdote. And a disappearance up my own bum. Switch off now if that is a place you don't want to go.

Someone once phoned me up in my home and told me I was domineering and egotistical. I have no way of knowing how I come across. I suppose something I did made this person feel that way.
I do know for a fact that these adjectives do not ever describe my motives for anything, and that if someone asks me why I have done or said something I can explain my actions or words without shame, if they will listen, and ironically, I seldom seem to ever choose any course of action that actually makes my own life any easier.

My basic philosophy is to treat others as I would like them to treat me, ie with fairness, objectivity, honesty and kindness.

Anyone who accuses me of anything else is misunderstanding me profoundly or is basing their opinions on 3rd hand lies. Of course we all inconvenience or offend people inadvertently and indirectly as we stumble through life, and I cannot claim to be exempt from recurring foot in mouth disease, but that is different from being domineering and egotistical in my book. I always apologise and try to make things better if/when I realise I have buggered things up.

Misunderstandings upset me deeply (I don't care if you hate me based on the truth!), and my consequent tendency to over explain myself to people will always be the bane of my life. I just hate the needless waste of a good relationship over bullshit.

This pedantic need for successful communication of "the truth" of course in itself reinforces the misunderstanding, ironically, so I'm doomed whatever I do. Haha.

I've learned in recent years that teaching your kids that they will be better served by being honest, living with integrity, and giving people the benefit of any doubt, is actually up there with the Tooth Fairy and Santa.

Clearly manipulation, attack as the best form of defense, and power games serve people much better.

Oh!! That what the person above accused me of were true! I might feel more in charge of my own happiness right now. Bitter? Moi?

Unfortunately I also can't ignore the "two wrongs don't make a right", and "think of others before yourself" voices in my head and still sleep at night.

Holier than thou? Not at all. I'm not perfect. Moaning like this proves that.... I can judge. We all judge. I just believe that judging becomes judgmental when you take action based on your negative judgments, and I wouldn't do that. Especially without first checking my facts at least. I suppose it depends who thou art of course.


Maybe I just need to sit down with Miracle on 42nd Street and a vat of HRT laced popcorn eh.....

I really want to believe in Santa Claus....

Anyway, from the photo you can see who is the real boss in this house.

Dominance. That's what the Dog Whisperer would say if he saw Ella. I wonder what he would say to me. Haha.

Don't worry. I'll get over myself.

*pulls head out of own arse, stays calm and carries on*