Another horrible Wednesday

We had a 28 week growth scan today and the baby is going to be a whopper. If it goes to 40 weeks like Esther did then it will be approx 8lb13. Esther was 8lb3.

I went to see the consultant with it in my head that I was going to choose a csection but came away more confused than ever. It was the same consultant but very different views to last time. She said I was no more at risk with it being so close to my last birth. The boy challenged her saying she had said I should have left three years for my scar to heal and she pretty much denied it. But then she said the rate the baby is growing I may want to choose csection as he/she will be a chunk but the fact I dilated fully without intervention then I could give it a go! Ahhhh I'm so confused!

Anyway, went to pick up Esther from Mum's and she had her results back for the camera. They have found cancer cells and giving her a ct scan on Monday. I am truly gutted and a mess. She kept it together, I think she had expected it or maybe it just hasn't hit her yet. Days like these are particularly hard when you're a family that doesn't hug or show affection. We love each other but don't show it. I never want Esther to feel like she can't give me a hug. I have had plenty from her today.