The Eff Up Session

Dear Princess Normal,

This is a picture taken in Rüdesheim, a pretty little town that sits along the Rhein. We were warned that it would be full of tourist tat shops, and Auslaender and E were not wrong.

As soon as we got off the train Bokhara was accosted by a man trying sell him a fidget spinner, or if not then how about a bottle opener?

"No, I don't like beer," replied Bokhara with a straight face. He should have been struck by lightning for that one.

"It's like going back in time," said E, "it has been like this since the 1950's." We imagined this corner of Germany to be the home of sticks of rock and Kiss Me Quick hats.

Auslaender managed to locate a quiet beer garden and told us about his job. Apparently, adopting the odd English phrase here and there is COOL in German business and indicates a forward thinking, Agile company which is down with the current climate of excellence and strategic enterprise paradigm. If you catch my drift.

If not, I mean corporate BS.

"But the problem is that words are different, and so sometimes they adopt the word but lose the meaning," explained Auslaender.

He told us of a telephone meeting about setting up a workshop to examine best practice and also to look at what didn't go so well.

"We need an eff up session," said one of the managers bluntly. It goes without saying he did not say eff. What he said was RUDE, but it was said in complete sincerity and with no sniggering, except from Auslaender who was choking on his tea.

There was loud agreement, "Frank, you held a TERRIFIC eff up session earlier in the year, what are your thoughts?"

"Absolutely," replied Frank, "I think if we all put our heads together we could have the biggest eff up session yet."

"I had to take my headset off," said Auslaender, "I was CRYING. And this went on for FIFTEEN MINUTES."

Our own eff up session at Rüdesheim was coming to an end so we walked down the Rhein to Geisenheim, looking at the geese, marvelling at the blue river and the large number of elderly British tourists going up and down it on huge boats.

It was HOT. I mean the sort of hot where, when the sun appears from behind a cloud you want to say ow. And every breeze made us all do "seagull arms". We found ourselves plagued by "Viechers" - the German catch-all word to describe tiny little flying bugs that want to explore the inside of your nose or head straight into your eyeball.

"It's pronounced 'feekers'," said Auslaender. Then encouraged Bokhara and I to have fun with our new word. German is the language that keeps on giving, as he always says.

But Geisenheim was equally lovely and we wandered into the church which was beautiful and cool.. Auslaender said something about legenning on the boden, meaning he wondered if they woukd mind if he had a lie down on the floor.

Then it was back to the house where it was too hot to eat anything except leftover breakfast - bread, ham, sausage and some EVIL lime pickle that Bokhara consumed with relish.

I started to feel a bit wobbly. I guess it was the heat, so retired to bed early. It was a shame because I don't like to miss out on things but I want to be bright eyed and bushy tailed for whatever tomorrow brings. We can't afford another eff up session.

In home news, Er Indoors COOKED for a friend! Well let's not get over-excited. She chopped up a salad and put out some dip. But I was SERIOUSLY impressed. She sent me pictures and everything. Good lord, whatever next?

S.