Guilty as charged

"I did not take that nap," I cried,"
I give my solemn vow,
And if I took it by mistake
I do not have it now.
""Oh fiddle-fudge," cried out the judge,
Your record looks quite sour.
Last night I see you stole a kiss, 
Last week you took a shower,
"You beat your eggs, you've whipped your cream,
At work you punched the clock, 
You've even killed an hour or two,
We've heard you darn your socks,
We know you shot a basketball,
You've stolen second base,
And we can see you're guilty
From the sleep that's on your face.
---Shel Silverstein