I am a mug

Captain Underpants and Ed think they are funny but I am not amused..

Calamity struck in the park  yesterday.    The killer hound decided she would swoop up behind me and snatch the football from my hand.  Unfortunately she missed the ball and tore a great gash down my finger instead.  It was very bloody, very shocking and very painful.      Fortunately, Emsie was with me and administered top notch first aid.    Her actions were praised later in the day by the legion of nurses and doctors that examined me.   
Ed then sped me to the local minor injury unit.  To cut a long story short, after having to hold my finger under a freezing cold tap for 15 minutes.... agony,  I was given some strong painkillers, antibiotics and a clean dressing.   So serious was the gash - down to the bone- that I had to go immediately to St Thomas's hospital where there is a specialist plastics team to deal with such injuries.    
Pete sped me to St T's.  Not so easy to speed the 9 miles from Croydon to Westminster when the average speed limit is 20mph, the traffic is pants and most of the other drivers on the road appeared to be  tossers.
Anyhow, the wonderful Dr P from "plastics" at St T's did a fine job of looking after me, turning a deaf ear to my, most likely, foul language as she gave  3 injections into my finger, opening up the wound even further with a giant and dangerous looking pair of tweezers  to clean it out and so on...
All the while Pete was keeping up a jolly stream of entertainment in the corner.  I don't think Dr P was familiar with the Kenny Everett character "Brother Lee Love"  he with the giant hands, but that didn't stop my beloved in his  "stand up  or else I'll pass out" comedy routine.
So serious is this wound that Dr P wanted to admit me and keep me in there to be monitored for several days.  We were shocked by this news but resigned ourselves to it and began to make plans for it.   Later..just as we were waiting for a bed to become free Dr P and her team decided that I seemed sensible enough to  be allowed home on the proviso that I follow their strict instructions.   I have to go back Friday and then it will be decided what happens next..
Keeping certain fingers crossed that all will be well but I really have no idea.
Got home late, very tired, very hungry and then hardly bloody slept.   
Took me a while to get going this morning but I did manage to get here to chaosville.....
Lottie is not happy as I am not able to take her out and she is not quite sure how to be with me.  I still love her, she didn't deliberately hurt me.

That wasn't a long story cut short.  I've left out a lot of stuff but there we are.   I would get even more grief if I reported everything, trust me..

Sorry to be off comments.  I'm a poor blip pal these days.