Psycho Killer Qu'est-ce Que C'est

My Dear Fellow,

I was determined not to do what I do every week and leave all the chores until Sunday. So the laundry got done and I washed every single cat-bowl in the house.

That doesn't sound like much. But the cat-bowls is massive. The boys are inveterate snackers at the weekend and the cat-bowls breed. We have about 20 of them, and had nearly used them all.

AND I HAVE NO DISHWASHER.

So it's important keep on top of the cat-bowls as it were. The boys were no help. They took me being in the kitchen as yet another excuse to ask for snacks. It's an unruly household.

This is not to say that me and Er Indoors did not also accomplish things. Right now we are investigating shipping companies and trying to figure out what we will be sending over in parcels, or in a shipping container or in luggage or what. It pleases me to say that I think we can pack most of our belongings into a 4x4 shipping cube. That's not bad.

We also managed to watch a fair amount of telly, but I made a telly faux pas. See, I put on the film, "Psycho II" before bedtime. As you know, Er Indoors does not like horror films but I went through the Horror Film Checklist in my head:

- Supernatural ghosty things going on - NO
- Gory, spurty, blood - NO
- Small children speaking Latin - NO
- Chainsaws up the bahookie - NO
- Entrails eaten - NO

I mean, technically yes, if you want to be technical about it, the hero of the movie is someone who used to murder people and stuff them. But "used to" are the key words here. And who among us doesn't have the odd fault?

So it's NOT a horror film, right? It's a film about a relatively sympathetic character going bonkers with a bit of a whodunnit element. Er Indoors loves psychological thrillers and mysteries and whodunnits. She loved "Silence of the Lambs" and "Kiss The Girls" and "The Bone Collector". She watched all of "Dexter" which is full of death and dismemberment. She should LOVE this, right?

Right?

WRONG.

When it was over she was clearly a bit spooked by it and even my rationally explaining to her that this WAS NOT HORROR and she HAD NO RIGHT to be scared could persuade her out of it. "It's just got that atmosphere," she said. She wouldn't even LISTEN to the checklist.

So we had to stay up late and watch Chris Noth in "Criminal Intent" because you know where you are with Chris Noth. And as we went to bed I checked the house for Norman Bates and put the keys in the front door lock just in case.

Clearly, I don't understand the rules at all.

And the cat bowls are back. They are everywhere.

Parsones