Dramatic Skies

My Dear Fellow,

Do you ever feel like a bit of a berk, taking blips? I must admit that I do. When I took this I didn't realise there was someone right behind me and I felt like a weirdo spinning around trying to get the right angle and avoid the direct light.

Perhaps the other person on the footpath thought I was dancing - DANCING - on my way in to the office. I have to tell you, I am never likely to do this, no matter how strong my coffee. Although as it happens, I was listening to The Rock Steady Crew at the time.

Do you remember them? They had only one hit, "(Hey You) The Rock Steady Crew". In the song, The Rock Steady Crew talk about how good they are at the hip-hop-body-pop-electric-boogaloo while a rather bossy singer instructs them to "Show 'em what you do! Make a break! Make a move!"

I'd have told her to eff off.

Meanwhile, another singer insists they are "digital with a capital D". I'm not sure why. I think they thought it made them sound cutting edge and modern.

Where I work does that too. I work in "digital" marketing. Every now and again I want to ask, "What's so digital about this?" or "You do know what digital means, right?" or "Hey! Did you know all computers have been digital since Harold MacMillan and Tony Hancock and Sandie Shaw?"

But I do not want to be a troublemaker. It is "digital" marketing because it sounds better than "Same Old Boring" marketing.

There are lots of IT words like that, which managers squish in there to make us IT folk sound a bit more sexy and dangerous. "Enterprise" is another one. We have an "enterprise" database because that sounds a bit "Star Trek".

Whoops, I apologise, it's not a database anymore. It's now a "data warehouse". No, no, wait, now I'm being told it is a "data lake". I'm not making that up. People keep saying it to me with a straight face.

Let's be honest. We have data. Let's leave it at that. But it is definitely enterprising. For some reason.

Maybe at our next team meeting I will propose "(Hey You) The Rock Steady Crew" as our team song. And if people look at me weird I will tell them it's digital with a capital D. I think they'll go for that.

As The Rock Steady Crew say, "Synchronise your feet! Get up on the rhythm down on the beat!"

Ow! I think I pulled something.

Parsones