CHOCOLATE MEDITATION

1. Persuade your partner it is a medical emergency and send him out to the nearest store.
2. Pace mindfully around the house while you await his return.
3. Look carefully at the wrapper to ensure he has bought the right variety
4. Tear open the wrapper and scoff half the bar
5. Put the other half in the fridge
6. Empty your mind of the idea that there is still chocolate in the fridge
7. Remember that meditation is not emptying the mind, but being aware of the thought.
8. Become aware there is still half a bar in the fridge. Scoff the lot. 

NOW you can breathe.