What came first.....

…the madchickenwoman or the egg?!

I hate choosing names, for my pets, as passwords, anything! When I had to choose a blipname it was actually really easy as everyone seemed to call me this! I think it originated with a fellow coop members husband, who when he answered the phone to me would hand me over to his wife saying, “It’s the madchickenwoman for you!” I only ever called her to discuss coop issues!! I never queried the use of the term mad – I took it to be I was mad over chickens, but really I think he just thought I was mad! I would not say mad but obsessive – and could have inserted the term cats, animal, shoes, clothes, plants etc etc as my blipname! I have no sense of the word, as my mother would say “need” – I would reply it wasn’t a case of need but want! I really should have named myself “shopaholic!” I have to tell myself that it is enough to see beauty not to have to own it – taking photographs helps with this! But I like to surround myself with what I believe are beautiful things – don’t we all want beauty in our lives? I know happiness cannot be bought and happiness does not lie in objects/ things, but they are beautiful! 
Mad does apply in terms of I get mad about things not being done properly or thoroughly – as in my way!!! But I don’t see my way as being extreme or obsessive but just the minimum standards, especially when it comes to caring for an animal! I get my love of animals from my grandpa, whose birthday I share! He would approach any animal without fear or sense! 
I don’t mind being mad about things in the sense of being emotionally incensed /upset – I take it to be because I care strongly about right and justice – but I do have to watch myself for being judgmental and am my own worst critic and can self analyse myself till I disappear up my own you know what! I strive to implement what I believe in – so no shopping from Tesco’s etc!! I despise those that talk about issues such as the environment, poverty, big business, and then go on leading their lives without putting their beliefs into practice. It’s why I became vegetarian – how could I love animals and then accept them being killed so I could eat them? I want people to make their minds up on facts – acknowledge the cute little lambs and animals they go all soft over in fields, in YouTube videos, are what is on their plate. People can easily live sanitized lives in this age of multimedia – out of touch with nature and the plight of others, readily swallowing the lies of our leaders/ managers and not questioning, not seeking verification of their truthfulness. They just go for what they know and makes them feel right in their view of the world. I constantly question what I believe in – why I believe it, whether it is right. I accept we all have a right to choose what we believe in, but only so far as it does not disadvantage let alone damage others. I also accept for many their environment, their opportunities, their upbringing, their disadvantages, their poor education, do not afford them the opportunities or preconditions to think other than they do. They are a product of our sadly uncaring, profit / results / blame driven economy. By the same token they can be the product of privilege and feelings of superiority! 
I think many of my work colleagues saw me as mad as in different – in dress, thought, speech. I moved around the country to take jobs that enabled me to work with children that interested me – going from juniors and nursery aged with children with special needs then into children from 6-18 with challenging behavior and severe learning difficulties to finally children with profound and multiple learning difficulties. That was where I was most happy. I cared for the children, educated them, stimulated them, but never pitied them. I think they gave me more than I ever gave them. I loved the very unique children who it took time to understand and even longer to find the key to unlock them from their internalized world.
I got off track there – another tendency of mine! What I meant to say was that other staff in the schools I taught were mainly from that area – were born, raised, educated and worked there, brought their families up there, saw their grandchildren be born and would in no doubt die there. So, I was an unfamiliar outsider! In London I was not so “stand outable,” but certainly in Plymouth, where I worked the longest, I was! Calstock however, where I chose to live, is full of people like me and I don’t think I stand out! But as a single woman who lives alone, likes her own company and has a strong interest in clothes and style and has strong views I don’t mind sharing, I think I possibly still do! 
I think really, I want to stand out – as in I don’t want to be part of the herd, I don’t want to be easily pigeon holed. I wonder if that is partly why I pursued the job I did – children with special needs are seen as different, and sadly / madly often not in a good way. At college there were only 20 of us on the specialized teaching course so we all stood out amongst the other B Eds from the start. 

So really, I am happy to be called mad in any way you like – just don’t call me normal! 

Many thanks to Dollykgray for this challenge – I’ve enjoyed finding out the reasons behind others names and of course writing about mine!! My blip is my new egg pin cushion! Far to wet to be getting the girls out for a photo! 

P.S. Did I mention I tend to overshare and go on and on and on and…….!

P.P.S. Just realised my name and my journal have the same name – damn now I should think of what to call my journal!