My Porn Collection ...............

I've sold a few houses in my time but this is the first time I have actually had to live in the show house and show potential buyers round.
There are a few rules. The house must be clean and ordered. The aroma of last nights curry must be shrouded in incense, but not too much lest the prospects assume you are doing Class A drugs on the premises. Kippers are out. Coffee aroma is in. I have to make my bed.
It's a bit like showing off your porn collection to be honest, not that I have a large one. Once you give complete strangers access to your innermost sanctum it might be best to move pretty soonish before the Fed's come round.
Fortunately I have Tommy to help. He meets and greet's, does a quick assessment and let's me know how he feels about the potential new folk.
The juries still out, but on balance todays viewers are acceptable to him.