Goin' The Messages

My Dear Fellow,

22 years ago I sat opposite Scottish Widows Mike. He was a project manager but don't hold that against him, he turns out to be a normal human being also. On one occasion he mentioned he would be bringing in a "wheen" of cakes for his birthday.

A what-now?

Thus started my Scottish Dictionary which I have been compiling ever since. And it is funny how - when I mention it - local people LOVE helping me compile it, yourself included. Some of these words are really useful and I find myself using them a lot.

My favourite entries include:

Away and raffle! - Go and boil your head
Away and sh*te! - As above, but more so
Nyaff - Someone not worth bothering with
Pelters - Abuse
Nippin ma heid - Irritating me
Torn-faced - Miserable looking
Switherin' - Hesitating, indecisive
Skittery - To be suffering from a runny bum
Black affronted - Hugely embarrassed, mortified
Corrieweechit or Corriefisted - Left-handed
A corrieweechit tattie-howker - A left-handed potato picker. Or as much use as a one-legged man at an @rse-kicking contest.
Tube - Someone who is not very bright
A sair fecht - A hard struggle
Pokie hat - An ice-cream cone
Trauchlin' through the clabber - Traipsing through the mud
I could eat a scabby dug - I'm really hungry
I could eat a scabby-heided wean - I'm really REALLY hungry
Dookin' for apples - Bobbing for apples
Dookin' for chips - Looking quite sunburnt
What's for ye'll no go by ye - That's karma, man
Yer bum's oot the windae - You're in rather a lot of trouble
You'll have had your tea? - You're not getting any tea
 
Of course, it also gets a lot of feedback along the lines of, "We don't say that!" or "That must be a West Coast thing!" For example, only Aberdonians say "fit like" and "faur's ma baffies?" according to you. While from personal experience, I can tell you that "peerie" is a word I've only encountered in Shetland. 

Possibly the best local expression was a Dundonian one you told me about. 

Bridie - A Cornish pasty sort of thing
A plennin - A plain bridie
An an ingin an anaw - And an onion one as well

I love that. So much. It's like poetry.

Parsones