Twenty-five

Eek, I look so melodramatic here. Truth is, I've been suffering from a bad case of cabin fever. Regardless of the fact that I went out yesterday, being holed up in my room all day today (with the exception of visiting Half Price Books to sell approximately 10 textbooks for a whooping price of 8 bucks -- oh well, there's less clutter in my room now) is driving me insane. I hope I'll put my new and shiny BFA degree to good use by finding a relevant job soon. I guess I'm a workaholic -- I can't sit still for one second!

While browsing the aisles at Half Price Books, I came across a self-help book for women who can't meet quality men, even if their life depended on it. Out of curiosity, I picked it up. It's not that I needed to abide by a set of dating rules or anything like that -- it's just that I was immensely curious about what kind of crazy crap our finest women are infecting their minds with nowadays.

I opened the book to a random page. It was the beginning of a chapter called "How to Guy-Proof Your House". My jaw dropped as I read on. According to the chapter, you must prepare your house so you won't scare your date away when you invite him in. That includes: putting away portraits of relatives and friends (so your date won't feel intimidated by them), closing your closet door to hide your expensive shoe collection (so your date won't realize how much of a high-maintenance pain-in-the-ass you are), taking down your wall decorations (so you will remain a mystery to him) and, if you have more than one pet, get rid of the extra one(s) (so your date won't think you're a spinster).

This has got to be some of the most absurd crap I've ever read. Why hide who you are when the whole point of dating is to get to know one another? Why wait until the third date, or the seventh date, or, heaven forbid, you become boyfriend-girlfriend to unveil your craziness? Why can't you show who you are in your entirety right off the bat? That way, you're not wasting anyone's time. And, hey, if the guy sticks around for a second date, you know he's a keeper.

The only thing I'm guilty of in the list above is having more than one pet. I'm a proud owner of two cats, and I'm well aware that this screams "spinster". I have to admit that sometimes I'm afraid that I'll end up being the local crazy cat lady (because, honestly, what kind of 23-year-old has 2 cats?), but at the same time I view this as a weeding-out process. If a guy walks out of the door just because I have more than one pet, he's just shallow (well, unless he's deathly allergic, then I'd understand). A guy who's worth my time would actually take the time to know me in my entirety. I'm me. I want to say the weirdest stuff -- to wonder out loud -- to dissect life itself -- to state my observations -- to pour out my heart -- and just to be me -- Chiara Fucarino. If a guy finds me alluring, then, by all means, stick around.

I don't have time for games.