Gulli tries the banjo

I went to the hospital at 9 so I could be there when the doctors came, they came at 11.15. Mum was unresponsive today, yesterday she could nod and shake her head in response to questions but not today, she's nil by mouth and on a drip. The SALT team have seen her, basically her swallow has deteriorated, she's painfully thin and very weak, her tummy is hurting or it may be her bladder, she's on antibiotics and has had iv vitamins.
Lovely Sue Lindenberg came by with a coffee for me, she was visiting another friend with a broken ankle, she took me for a toastie and gave me a hug and helped me take in the news after I spoke with the doctor.
My Auntie Bonnie, Mum's sister arrived at 12.30, I was glad Sue and Bonnie met. We all talked a lot. Mum couldn't be communicated with today, she's too unwell and we weren't even sure she knew we were there.
I stayed till 3.30 hoping to see her main doctor but in the end just needed to get home, I only slept for about 3 hours last night and I was exhausted. The Dr called me at 4 to say that they'd put a feeding tube up her nose and the plan is to try and feed her and build her up over the weekend and reassess her on Monday.
With MSA peg feeding is usually required towards the end, currently it's clear that she isn't up to having the procedure and in any case I (and her sisters and the doctors) feel that it probably isn't a good idea, she probably wouldn't survive the operation , perhaps if the feeding tube helps and she rallies round it may be an option but we will just have to see. Mum has been so brave and plucky throughout and despite all her problems she has been happy overall, if we are in the final part now I hope it's quick and peaceful. I hope I don't sound blasé but this has been going on for years now and the main thing is that Mum shouldn't suffer, I am distraught of course but I need to be strong.

Back home I watched Once Upon a time with Gulliver, Zebedee and his friend Hugo made chocolate strawberries and Z, G and I went to our lovely neighbours Kate and Tim's and son Charlie's for a long arranged dinner.

I told them all the news when we arrived and then put the events of the day to one side and we all had a wonderful evening taking turns to choose the music, talking, laughing eating and drinking.

Kate had made several amazing curries, it really was an impressive and delicious spread and the strawberries topped it off nicely.

Gulli enjoyed playing Tim's grandfathers banjo.

Inevitably I became tearful towards the end of the evening. Life goes on and as my Dad said on the phone when he called me this morning 'life is for the living' something his Mother often said to him, I appreciated my Dad calling, he said that in spite of having fallen out he remembers their time together fondly. He reminisced about when they met, he was 17 and chairman of the young conservatives and met Mum who was 22 and living at her parents house when he was canvassing for voters, she used to borrow her Mother's blue convertible and pick him up in it, they were both very attractive and it must have been very romantic and exciting for them. It was 5 years before I came along.