Early this morning...

...my brain woke me up.
BRAIN: Wake up
ME: It's 4am!
BRAIN: Get up and put your processor on.
ME: I still have to meditate and then do my exercises.
BRAIN: But I've worked it out.
ME: It will have to wait...
BRAIN: Sigh...
BRAIN: It's now 6am, you finished yet?
ME: I still have to have a shower.
BRAIN: Sigh...

(If this post confuses you, you will have to read yesterday's post to understand my cochlear processor has been remapped dramatically differently)

I am now sitting on my garden swing with a cuppa...

ME: Okay brain. I just put my processor in. Now what?
BRAIN: Listen...
ME: To what? Where are the sounds?
BRAIN: Listen...
ME: But there is nothing...
BRAIN: Quiet your mind. Go into the distance...

I sit very still...being the distance...

I start to pull in something which might be birds...it is like a cacophony of almost silent whispers...then the whispers separate into different kinds of sounds...some sounds sound thin like soft silk...others are of a varying intermittency...and so on...I carry on listening and they come more into focus and much louder. Then I realise this is an army of different birds singing. I am not sure of all the different noises, that is I don't know how to describe them, however I am aware of the distinctiveness between them but I don't have the words. The different sounds have different textures and pictures in my mind.

I found it amazing that I was able to pull in strands of different noise from this cacophony of almost silent whispers, and as I realised each different strand it became louder. Until I realised the birds were literally taking over the space of sound.

ME: Brain, which bird is which?
BRAIN: That's your problem...
ME: Brain?
BRAIN: <silence >
ME: Sigh...

I have been listening a few hours now in the garden. With the old mapping I could hear the blackbird, collared dove, and the Raven. And that was it. I couldn't pick up any other birds before. With the new mapping I am aware of these different bird sounds now, but I have no idea what belongs to which until I see the bird opening its beak...I have however figured out which one is the collared dove because it is making a blinking racket and keeps flapping over.

The more I am listening, the more I am focusing in on these bird sounds, and 'pulling' out the different sounds within this cacophony.

Birds are noisy aren't they? I never knew that before.

I decided to go out this afternoon and met my art group. I didn't say anything about yesterday and my remapping, so they don't know my struggles yesterday and today. I didn't want to make the art session about me, I wanted to listen to 'familiar' voices talking among themselves they way they normally did, and see what this new mapping could work out. I had to fall back on my lip-reading skills. I did struggle, but didn't talk much, just listened and lipread what I could. But what I did do which amused them (this was accidental!), I did what I did a couple of days ago on a blip post, I drew these two pictures with gel writing pens, but without looking at the paper, then sprayed with a water mister. I needed to look at what my friends were saying so I could lipread and I cannot do that looking at a drawing I am doing.

So this was my pic/pics for today for my challenge to myself of a pic every day in 2017.

Maybe you think I should have said something? But I wanted normal conversations among them to give my brain a chance to work out words.

I was exhausted when I got home. And went to sleep a few hours.

Oh by the way one of them was grumbling about the dawn chorus of birds making such a racket and waking her up...I had to ask her to repeat it a couple times before I got it.

Then I am sad because what was an absolute miracle to me this morning, was an irritation to a hearing person. I said nothing, but kept this incredible special miracle to myself.