Why did Tim cross the road?

Actually, he couldn't. He was being ineffectual at navigating traffic and roadworks. Clare and I were in Burger King car park waiting and wetting ourselves.

This was outside Bicester Village, a bizarre sort of designer outlet retail centre in an obscure corner of Oxfordshire. It feels like a theme park: meet and greeters, Disney-esque architecture, bespoke train station and road network, valet service, entry and exit lanes to shops, overpriced food stands with queues ten people deep. The clientele was highly international - lots of East Asian and Middle Eastern folk. Wikipedia tells me that after Buckingham Palace it's the next most visited UK attraction by Chinese tourists. A triumph by the retail centre owners and tour operators at selling something that certainly should not be more visit worthy than the South Downs, Stonehenge or Woburn Safari Park.

We may not return as we found it quite odd. We will certainly never be interested in lining up to enter the Prada shop or fighting with the crowds in Ralph Lauren Kids. We also can't justify paying £16 for a handwash, however delightful the lingering scent of bergamot feels on one's palms.