Between the Lines....

The great German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche once said "My camera never lies." (Or maybe it was Bucks Fizz - I often confuse the two.)

However, as all blippers know, the camera may not lie, but we certainly do, with the aid of Snapseed, Photoshop, etc.

You can imagine then, how trepidatious I was to meet 'FidgetyDigity' from the Blip Singles Club.
I'd seen his photo online, obviously - but it struck me that for a man in his early fifties, he had very few lines and absolutely no grey hairs. What if he'd 'edited' himself?

Anyway, last night, I trotted along to meet him at the pub. And lo, the camera hadn't lied! He did indeed have a head of glossy black hair and a smooth, flawless skin!

Sadly though, it was obvious that he'd borrowed the hair from someone else - a particularly hirsute Labrador perhaps. And I'm not saying that facelifts are a bad thing, but when your skin is stretched so tightly that you're in danger of splitting like a ripe peach if you smile, then perhaps it's time to step away from the surgeon's knife, and into the fruit bowl.

I'm sure he was very pleasant to talk to...he just couldn't open his mouth wide enough to say anything.

A wise man once said 'If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen (before your plastic face melts.)'

Oh wait.....that was Bucks Fizz again......