So THAT'S where Action Man keeps his head!

Just in case you're wondering, these are resuscitation/CPR dummies.

We had First Aid training today. I learned: In case of calling for an ambulance, remember LIONEL.
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
Actually, it's Location, Injury, Other Services Required, Number of Casualties, and, er...

The only time I ever had to call an ambulance I stupidly called the doctor's surgery first, because the casualty told me to, and the conversation went something like this;

"What did you say the patient's name was?"
"Kirsty Porter"
"No, we've no patient by that name here"
"But I know that she's a patient there! She attends the diabetic clinic"
"I'm sorry, dear..."

Hours passed until I remembered that Kirsty's official first name is not in fact Kirsty! If there is ever a next time, I will call 999 or 112 and cut out the middle woman.

Speaking of which, whatever happened to this guy's middle? How the hell am I going to explain that to Lionel?


Names have been changed to protect the vulnerable, and Lionel Ritchie

PS I have changed the edit, because, on the first one, Action Man's chest was overexposed! One disadvantage of working on a laptop.