Saturday

The rain woke me at 6.15am and I quickly realised my headache was still there. Couldn't get back to sleep.

Went to the supermarket then wandered through the Botanics. Decided to walk into Stockbridge for some lunch. I started to get paranoid about people walking behind me and I started to get anxious. Eventually got to Café Nero, had lunch, read my book and back home. It was only 2pm.

I don't quite know what happened and in what order but a panic attack started. Chest burning, hard to breathe, uncontrollable crying. Tried to sit and focus on something and sort my breathing out. Didn't do anything. I cut several times, no difference. I ended up taking a few diazepam and after what seemed like a long time I felt tired and lay down. I slept for an hour or so and woke up feeling drained. My chest still so sore.

One of the worst things about it, is that I was on my own. I always am. All I need is a hug and to be told it's ok.