Over Yonder

By Stoffel

Bandwidth

My Dear Fellow,

Interesting meeting today. We have about 2 weeks before our next release, how much software do we think we'll have finished and tested by then?

"We won't have finished all the things you want us to finish," says lovely test manager. No honestly, I've never met a test manager this loveable. He's got a very sweet nature and hates to say "no". So him saying this was a big deal.

Let's prioritise then. We have 3 managers in the room. How hard can this be?

"We have to have A," says first manager.

"Okay," I say leaping in because this chap has a tendency to take an idea and beat it to death. "If we go with just A - can we do that?" 

"Oh yes," says lovely test manager. He is smiling. He knows that I am on his side.

"But would we WANT to?" I asked. "I mean, if we just put the release date BACK so we can fit in other things. What does everyone think of that idea?"

"No, but wait first," says second manager. "Do you think you can fit in A and B for the release date?"

"Well - uh - it will be very tight," says test manager. He means no, but is too lovely to say so.

"Okay good," says second manager. He thinks he is being an excellent negotiator. He doesn't understand that this is not a negotiation, this is just people saying actual things. "Now, what if you worked weekends?"

"This IS with us working weekends," says lovely test manager.

"Right, right," I say trying to get us back on track. "So IF we can finish A and B in time - would you want to release with just that? Doesn't it make more sense to push the dates back and do a release in March?"

"No, we can't push the release date to March," says second manager. "We already said we would have a release in February, it would look bad if we don't."

Because looking bad is way worse than making developers cut corners and a team of testers work weekends. Of course it is.

But then the third manager chips in. "So it's tight - I get that," he says. "But let's say you DO manage to fit in A and B. Could we get C as well?"

"I suppose... it's possible..." says lovely test manager. Although the look in his eyes says, "Dear god we are pretty much back to where we started."

So at the end of this meeting we had gone from de-prioritising everything to re-prioritising it again. A worthwhile use of our time. If we hadn't held it, I wonder if we could have fit in D?

El P.

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