Vanity.

It's time for your close up.

Oh shite and bollocks, need a new headshot.
I hate having my photo taken. Hate it.
Look hideous, and don't want to be reminded.

The photographer tells me:
1. Look through the camera lens as though I really like the person behind it.
2.Turn slightly to one side, never face the camera flat on unless you are
Claudia Schiffer or Sponge Bob Squarepants.
3. Stand up straight, and unless you have a chin like Desperate Dan
tilt your head up ever so slightly.

I do everything. I do.
But I take one look at the shots on the computer and sigh.