When You're Strange

My Dear Fellow,

A lot of meetings today. One of them was interesting in that the irresistible force that is The Man Who Can't Finish A Sentence met an immovable object in The Woman Who Sounds Like She's On Speed.

MAN: So... then... the thing is that... well... because... you know... well...
WOMAN: Firstwehavetoagreethebudgetbecauseweneedtounderstandscope!
MAN: Well - yes... but - well - because - that is - because...
WOMAN: Weneedtounderstandthequarterthreecostssowecanmoveforward!!

It was bizarre. I listened to these two using LOTS OF WORDS and wondered if anyone else was as completely lost in flannel as I was.

While I was pondering this, it occurred to me there are a lot of WEIRD people out there. Not just these two. But people who take this stuff seriously and who use words like "bandwidth", "operational" and "strategic". On purpose. Without taking the pee.

I would like one day to ask one of these people to define what is actually meant by words like "enterprise", "digital" and "tactical". I bet you they all give different answers.

I looked over at my PM. I am grateful for her. She is a "normal". She rolls her eyes at Man Who Can't Finish A Sentence and tells me she does her best to avoid asking him anything, ever. She was openly scrolling her Facebook feed while Woman Who Sounds Like She's On Speed was rattling out a new series of random words.

Of course, you can't be entirely confident about the Normals either. Sometimes they come back from managerial briefings and then start using words like "burndown" and "velocity". When this happens I set a Viking ship on fire for them in my head and grieve.

Re-reading that last sentence, I now realise I sound odd as well. But Princess Normal put it much better than me when she explained that for all her eccentricity, it was just her way of getting through the work day madness. "I'm completely normal!" she exclaimed, "In fact, I'm PRINCESS Normal!" 

Hence her moniker, by the way.

Anyway, then she gave forth with hysterical laughter that completely undermined her point, but I knew what she meant.

I think you, I, Er Indoors and the Princess are the most well-balanced and rational people I know. We look askance at managerial double-speak and corporate w&nkery and flick it the V sign. Now let us set another Viking ship ablaze and watch it burn into the distance for all of our fallen colleagues.

El P.