The beast of St Osyth

With possibly a full-grown man-eating male lion on the rampage through the fields of Tendring, we all slept lightly with one ear on the listen for an approaching feline. Which window would it burst through and who would it consume first? Would it prefer the leanness of a child, or the seasoned hide of an adult?

We woke to find ourselves, amazingly and thankfully with all our limbs still attached and no giant maned-beast slobbering over our heads.

This is a picture of the very field the enormous feline was first seen, before it had a chance to rampage through our towns and villages.

Fancy our area making the headlines! Anyone would think it is the silly season in the media when stories rise to the top which would usually stay on page five of their local weekly paper.

Did we ever believe there is a real beast of Essex? Like the one that used to be a black puma, which somehow is now a yellow-brown lion?

No more than there was ever a beast of Ambridge.

Hang on what's that scratching at the door.......