We will rebuild...

Daily MWail Award winning Journalist of 1967, Dolly Muckrake reports...

The war cry of defiance rang loud in Port Appin, a sleepy storm ravaged Argyll rural backwater today.  "We will rebuild", promised Robby Huffy-Smythe, the shell shocked owner of this secret country hideaway ( 2.75 miles west of Oban on the B6234). The outraged business man and company director,  (grandson of  a strike breaker at a capitalist owned Shipyard on the Clyde in 1924), awoke to find his beautifully tended garden in a state of utter devastation.  The owner of this £2,312,451.99p  country house was furious at the council for failing to provide adequate facilities to remove health hazard mountains of debris after the worst storms of 2017.  "They have known this would happen since global warming was first flagged up in the Archers in 1952 but all they care about is their gold plated pensions and the lack of salt for the thundersnow that is due at anytime.  I am deeply offended"

There was no-one available today at neighbour Elizabeth Pargeter's nearby exclusive architect designed home and they couldn't be contacted at their second home in Seashell Bay in millionaires row Barbados but they twittered from their megayacht somewhere in the Caribbean., "Our thoughts go out to our neighbours and friends at the golf club, they can count on our support when we return in July".

Meanwhile the Huffy-Smythe's struggle on with their monumental task of removing fallen twigs and will be remodelling their show home and gardens in time for their annually tea party to celebrate the fall of Mafeking on May 17th. 

Mortimer Wheeler was unavailable for comment.