Nuts About Her

This sweet lady is my favourite shopkeeper in Phnom Penh. Her colourful little shop has many items displayed at the front and is in Tuol Tom Pong or the Russian Market as it's also known .

Any Cambodian over the age of 42 had been born when Pol Pot turned the country upside down in 1975. Anyone over 50 has a memory of that time. Whenever I see Cambodians of a particular vintage, I can't help but wonder what they endured and witnessed, the loved ones they lost and how they have managed to move on from that time.

These are not conversations I have given voice to often. Usually they happen within myself silently. Occasionally when I've had the urge to ask an older Cambodian their story, I've first asked myself why do I want to know. Is it simply curiosity? If so, then I tell myself to curb the impulse and not stoke a fire that might still be quietly smouldering. It's more respectful if I'm patient and allow the person to share in their own good time. If they decide to do so at all.

I've discovered over time that people don't always want to talk about their tragedy just because I do. At least not until such time as when they feel the need to share for the sake of their own healing. Their memories if stirred bring back to life too much grief, no matter that these are decades old. It's a necessary part of survival that people want to move on and not be reminded of a period of time in their life so horrific that it still beggars belief.

For many years Cambodia hosted a large community of Russian supporters who helped rebuild the country and its economy - roads, railways and agriculture, especially post the Khmer Rouge period which had spiralled the country backwards.

In Phnom Penh the resident Russians used to frequent Tuol Tom Pong market which is how it got its second name.

The USSR gave Cambodia $100 million in aid every year until 1991. President Mikhail Gorbachev was instrumental in initiating the Paris Peace Accords in 1991 which marked the official end of the Cambodia Vietnam war. This was followed by the deployment of the UN Transitional Authority in Cambodia (UNTAC); the first time in its history that the UN took over the governance of a nation.

Until then the U.S had taken a strong stand against and had boycotted Cambodia and rallied many other countries to do the same. The only non-aligned country to continue supporting Cambodia and maintain diplomatic ties was India.

Sometimes I go to the Russian market just to see my nut lady even though I don't really need anything. She's generous and always has open boxes of different things she offers everyone who stops by to have a taste of. In her shop, along with the nuts and dried fruits, she sells tea, balms and oils, soy sauces, hammocks and hand woven Cambodian cotton scarves called krama.

I usually buy lightly toasted cashews in salt that still have the dark brown husk on them. But somehow I end up with dried pineapple, crispy fried banana strips and raw almonds too because for everything I buy, she adds something else as a gift into the bag. So then I usually look around to see what else I can purchase. She follows that by throwing in a beautiful small handwoven box. Or a bottle of Oxen oil. And we continue like this until I have a bag brimming with many things that I didn't come to the market for. But best of all I have an overflowing heart because in her smile and her eyes, and all her gestures, I feel so much kindness and sweetness, that just seeing her makes me feel delighted. And humble.