Tess turns 13

That Harry Enfield sketch. The one where he sweetly hugs his mum and dad on the eve of his 13th birthday before trotting upstairs to bed, only to come down the next morning as a hulk of grunting teenager with utter contempt for his parents. This morning wasn't like that, it was worse. It wasn't an "if M&S did birthday mornings", it wasn't even an "if Carlsberg did birthday mornings", it was a full on "if Trump did all the best birthday mornings", yes, it was that bad.

Do they get secret injections from visiting fairies overnight when they turn 13 that turn them into sullen grinch grumpmeisters? But even she couldn't keep it up, because it's pure dead exhausting being a total raj, so by 11am I think the nuclear explosion had been prevented through diplomacy (take note Trump). Wee gathering at my sisters house for birthday cake and birthday girl gifts where the old Tess returned and she was genuinely happy again. And in the evening, Dave made the very real sacrifice by agreeing to watch Dirty Dancing with her, he had a few drinks right enough to get him through it but he did manage to timmer down the sarcastic comments. But no one can put a movie buff in a corner so we all watched the Commitments afterwards, with me apologising or coughing or lalalala'ing over the sweary swear swears for Tess, which in effect amounted to me lalala'ing and coughing all through the movie as the Commitments is like one big (funny) swear.

Happy Birthday Tess!