Feeding Reindeer...

...seems to consist of sitting round the back muttering to himself while sipping from a surprisingly large hip flask.

On a related note it looks like I am being roped into being a Santa's 'little helper' at a garden centre this Saturday. Me! An Elf for feck's sake. I didn't even make the Santa shortlist despite being eminently qualified with an amiable corpulent rotundity, white beard and a natural sunny disposition.

The salutatory lesson here is obviously never get involved in these discussions after a bottle and a half of Shiraz. Santa and his hip flask may have company this weekend.

Humbug anyone?