Fitting the Pieces Together

I am so tired I'm nearly in a stupor. Starting the process of shifting back home after my second quake repair is very much about putting the pieces back together and creating order from chaos.

It's been a huge day and I haven't stopped since 5.30am. It's had it's ups and downs but mostly good. I detoured back to the country via my physio. I have new exercises and more running to strengthen my calf. It's progressing well.

Once back to the guest house I had a good old cry. I'm ok, just extremely tired and missing Mum. I knew today when she was just telling to keep going and hang another set of curtains. I knew too when I got back this evening I could let the flood gates open and get it out of my system.

It's about a year to the day since I reached the decision I'd take on the Earthquake Commission and fight for a better outcome than I had. I knew I either had to accept what I had and get on with it, or do something about it. 

A while ago I thought they'd broken me and I couldn't see an end to it. Now I can. I'm nearly there. Today I signed off on the repair, tomorrow my stuff comes home, and Saturday Benedict comes home. I start to clean up the garden, look at what chores and maintenance need doing outside. I have new plans and vigour.

While home is done I will continue to call the Earthquake Commission to account for a while longer. I know where the end point to that is, and regardless of the outcome that will be it.

As I cried I realised the enormity of what I have achieved, the courage I and others have shown, the strength, tenacity, and the knowledge that my dignity and integrity is intact. My contractor and his subbies have done a good job, it's fair, in places more than fair, and I'm grateful for the guys who work within a system and always ask themselves "what if there were my home?". It's made a difference for me.

One slightly sour note is I'll have to get a sparky out to fix my rear security light. It's been knocked askew and needs resetting and sorting so it works again. I can't pin it on the tradies who worked on my repair because there was also another tradie who came and fixed a piece of spouting during the time I've been out.

I didn't push it today because it wouldn't be fair on my contractor when there is doubt and I have no reason to doubt his integrity. I've found him to be fair and honest and I'm inclined to think it was the other toe-rag who had to come back and fix a piece of spouting he busted. (I did after all have to point out to him that he'd broken it).

I hate the attitude of "if I can get away with it, I will". I was raised to take responsibility and be accountable. But it's just a light, it's fixable, it's small-fry. It always seems worse when I'm tired ;-)

Now I'll do a few things on my list and admire the setting sun.

Until tomorrow.... (which will be momentous in more ways than one).

Day 37 gratitude: The men and women who worked to achieve a better and fairer outcome for me.