Buy an old house then throw money at it....

A simple bookcase replacement revealed a bulging wall and rising damp. My comments were heard far and wide! Now, many hundreds of pounds later I'm getting used to the idea.

Of course, she who would like to be obeyed has had to have a new carpet, better bookcases (to help her get over the trauma) new wall lights and whatever else she can dream up.

We are still negotiating.