Broken

What a long day. Eventually finished work and did some C******** shopping then took a walk round the dark harbour. It felt good, nobody could see me.

Didn't get much sleep last night.
I keep saying to my counsellor that I want to go back to how things were 3 years ago, before everything happened. She says that I  am a different person now and I can't go back to how I was.
So now, this new person only thinks negatively, has anxiety attacks as soon as things get too much, take lots of tablets in a day just to live, doesn't know what the next day will feel like, plus more.

That is what I can't cope with but am told as soon as I accept it, life will be easier.