Rickety Wooden Bridge (somewhere in East Lothian)

There were three billy goats and they all lived on a rocky hillside. There was a big billy goat, a middle-sized billy goat, and a little billy goat, and they were all called Gruff. In fact, as I seem to remember, they were called the Billy Goats Gruff.

Now the three Billy Goats Gruff all lived on a rocky hillside and every day from morning till night they did nothing but eat. They ate the coarse grass that grew between the stones, the moss that grew on the rocks, and the leaves that grew on the trees. And they would say how one day they would go down the rocky hillside trot over the old rickety wooden bridge above the deep fast flowing river and go to the lush green meadow on the other side and eat till they were fat.

Well one day the three Billy Goats Gruff were saying how tomorrow they would go to the lush green meadow when an old grandfather billy goat laughed:

You Billy Goats Gruff are always saying that you'll go to the lush green meadow, why don't you just go there? Perhaps you're frightened of the Troll.

For beneath the bridge lived a ferocious Troll, and if anyone tried to cross it why he would gobble them up!

I'm not afraid of the Troll, said the big Billy Goat Gruff.

Neither am I, said the middle-sized Billy Goat Gruff.

Nor me, said the little Billy Goat Gruff. We'll go right now!

The other two Billy Goats Gruff looked at the little Billy Goat Gruff, then at each other. They hadn't intended this to happen and were rather shocked.

Well, are all you brave Billy Goats Gruff going then?

Er... yes, of course we are, said the big Billy Goat Gruff. We're not frightened. (Actually they were all very frightened.)

Goodbye, Billy Goats Gruff. I don't expect we'll see you again.

The three Billy Goats Gruff started off down the hillside, slowly at first, then faster and faster, stones flying this way and that, till they came to bottom. Well they looked across the deep fast flowing river to the green meadow on the other side. The sun was shining on the lush green grass and clover and speckles of sweet flowers sparkled in the sunlight. The smell was wonderful, you?d have to be a goat to appreciate it, their mouths were watering.

Well they trotted along the path by the river till they came to the old rickety wooden bridge. They looked under the bridge but they couldn't see anything. The Troll was there actually, he'd been out fishing the previous night and had caught nothing. And now he was asleep but even in his sleep he was grumbling.

Perhaps the Troll has gone away? Said the little Billy Goat Gruff.

Perhaps he has, said the big Billy Goat Gruff. And since this was your idea, you can go first and find out.

Well the big Billy Goat Gruff and the middle-sized Billy Goat Gruff took two steps backwards leaving the little Billy Goat Gruff all on his own. The little Billy Goat Gruff was afraid but holding his head high, bravely set off across the bridge.

TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP!

Went his hooves on the wooden boards. He was nearly at the middle when suddenly the enormous head of the Troll appeared from beneath the bridge.

I'm a Troll fol-de-rol, I'm a Troll fol-de-rol, I'm a Troll fol-de-rol and I'll eat you up for supper.

No, no, don't eat me, I'm only a little Billy Goat Gruff. Wait till my brother comes, he's much bigger and fatter than I am.

Very well, be off with you.

So the little Billy Goat Gruff crossed the bridge.

TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP!

And when he got to the lush green meadow he started to eat the sweet grass.

Well the middle-sized Billy Goat Gruff, when he saw that his brother had safely reached the meadow, he straightened himself up and he started to cross the bridge.

TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP!

Went his hooves on the wooden boards. He was nearly at the middle when suddenly the enormous head of the Troll appeared from beneath the bridge.

I'm a Troll fol-de-rol, I'm a Troll fol-de-rol, I'm a Troll fol-de-rol and I'll eat you up for supper.

No, no, don't eat me, I'm only a middle-sized Billy Goat Gruff. Wait till my brother comes, he's much bigger and fatter than I am.

Very well, be off with you.

So the middle-sized Billy Goat Gruff crossed the bridge.

TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP!

And he joined his brother eating the sweet grass in the lush green meadow.

That left only the big Billy Goat Gruff. He puffed himself up and he started to cross the bridge.

TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP!

Went his hooves on the wooden boards. He was nearly at the middle when suddenly the enormous head of the Troll appeared from beneath the bridge.

I'm a Troll fol-de-rol, I'm a Troll fol-de-rol, I'm a Troll fol-de-rol and I'll eat you up for supper.

The Troll leapt onto the bridge and started gnashing his teeth but the big Billy Goat Gruff stamped his hooves, then lowered his horns, and charged! Tossing the Troll high in the air. Up, up, up he went, then down, down, down he fell - SPLASH! - Into the middle of the deep fast flowing river and was never seen no more.

So the Big Billy Goat Gruff crossed the bridge and joined his brothers eating the sweet grass in the lush green meadow.

TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP! TRIP, TRAP!

The three Billy Goats Gruff ate the sweet grass till they were fat,and then they went to sleep for a long, long time.

The three Billy Goats Gruff became old grandfather Billy Goats Gruff with great curling horns and long grey beards. And sometimes they went back see their friends on the rocky hillside. But when they did, they galloped over the bridge as fast as they could just in case the Troll had come back.