Autumn

... turned suddenly to winter today.

After the chimney sweep was done I had a very snowy walk up on Barton.

I had gone to bed fearing the worst after watching Michael Moore's video clip and with that same post-Brexit feeling. I was naive then and went to bed so certain of the outcome that I expected ... Once bitten, etc. I was already on the same page with Connections and Eliot. In the morning I didn't want to look or hear anything. When I did I realised that even though I suspected as much I was struck again by that same feeling of vulnerability ... age perhaps, I don't know. All I know is that since my husband died all these events seem to take their toll and my skin seems a lot thinner and they accentuate that feeling of being very alone, regardless of knowing that so many share similar anxieties about what lies ahead. It feels like a selfish thing to have these feelings of personal vulnerability and curious too, this way that they tap into all the other sadnesses and losses. Strangely being out in the snow alone is a relief in a way.