I'm sad.

As some of you who follow me know, my childrens Grandfather is very poorly with cancer. Hes also my best friends father. My best friend just happens to be my ex husbands sister. I know - complicated is an understatement.

I still call him Dad.

Dad took a turn for the worse a few days ago and cutting a very long storey short, was admitted to hospital this afternoon. Not somewhere he wanted to go but it sounds like he has an obstruction.

So in between working, I have been messaging the children and my best friend, trying to work out what we all need to do next. ...My gut instinct is that they all need to get to him because I think we are close to the end but we are getting messages back saying he's not up for visitors.

The childrens father isnt great when it comes to illness and communication isn't his strong point so I feel its left to me to inform them all of what might be the best thing to do. Its quite exhausting and Im feeling pretty helpless. Im normally the one to get stuck in and sort things out being the ex nurse of the family but because he's no longer my family, I cant do that. Theres also the problem of potentially treading on toes !

I had almost accepted that its too late to see him to say goodbye, but Shirley has just messaged to say he would very much like to see me and will keep me posted as to where he will be in the next few days. I will drop anything to go and see that lovely man who I have loved for the last 30 years. Iv added an extra photo of our last Christmas together as I have been doing a spot of reminiscing.

xXx