Bad Day

It actually turned out to be rather beautiful today, after a foggy and miserable start. By 11am, the sky was blue, it was 16 degrees, and there was a lovely scent in the air.

Unfortunately I was held hostage between the hours of 9 and 3, on a course......... I couldn't rouse any excitement for the subject matter. I'm always a bit jealous of other's jobs, and I suspect with good reason. I doubt most people's courses are held in such delights of a dilapidated school hall, with it's plastic folding chairs and metal-edged rectangular tables. I looked around the room, looked at all the faces. What a dreary bunch. I'm not in a good frame of mind, I'm not meaning to be unkind. I suppose it's really the last place I want to be. It's just so cringe making, listening to people talking as if they've just invented the wheel, and the tone was very self-congratulatory. 

I suppose it's indicative of the bigger picture. I actually really enjoy working with children, but I am most definitely not one of "them". I suspect I never have been, and it's a case of masking it, faking it, appearing to be, so to speak. A bit of a square peg in a round hole. But days like these heighten my awareness. I think I'm supposed to care about the subject matter. I think I'm supposed to be interested, even excited by it, and I'm not. 

Again, another example of the silliness of the day, was the mass-catered school lunch. As in an actual school lunch. I knew I was never going to touch any of it, so went and had a wander, took in the air, snapped a few pictures and sat in my car for a bit. Rather that than make small talk. 

My interest has been piqued again about a different career path, and it's a bit of a coping strategy of sorts. It's a shame half-term is over, I'd quite like some time to think a bit more about it. 

The only saving grace was leaving before 3pm, and enjoying a lovely and picturesque drive back in the sunshine. 

Little B was very sleepy today. He's not been 100% the last few days, and last night when I got back from the gym, he paced around whimpering, before finally throwing up all over the leather sofa.... which I had to pick up. I almost heaved myself....He perked up in time to answer the door to a few trick-or-treaters later ;-)