Tuesday

After a restless night it was work, course, quick coffee with book (but struggled to read more than a few pages; couldn't concentrate), then visit Grandma.

I am starting to get scared about how I am feeling. Work has always been the safe, good place where I am focused and distracted. Not just now. Today I felt I didn't care about anything and felt really numb.It's hard to explain.  I left the room several times to have a cry and for the second time only at work I self harmed.  

Really struggled at Grandma's, to listen and ask questions.

Now, at home I feel really restless and can't sit still, but don't know what to do.
I feel alone in all this.