There have been goodness knows how many gold medals given out over the last 16 days of competition, these are the two than I won at the weekend. They're far more exclusive than any Olympic Medal & all I had to do to win them was feed TwoMonkeys with blueberries, take them out geocaching, buy them a Subway & let them call me Auntie Dirt Bag (well, it's better than Auntie Jo Jo).

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