Across the cloisters and up the stairs

I went to church today (and it had cloisters!), and found it quite difficult. It was a church of the same denomination and church tradition I grew up in, and yet I felt very out of touch with what was being said and done. Some of it was just practicalities like when to sit and stand - I felt the strong urge to stand up to sing - and some of it was more than that.
I felt very uneasy about some of the things that were being said, and especially about how they were phrased, and I guess that reflects how living and worshipping on the pebble with the ecumenical, accepting, inclusive background we have has shaped and molded me into who I am now (just as growing up as a minister's daughter in this particular denomination has shaped me - and I can't and don't want to take that away!) And I know that who I am now is probably not who I will be in a few months, let alone years, time - it's ever evolving, and that is okay.
My friend said a few weeks ago about how as we grow up and grow in our faith, that it is only natural to not necessarily fit in comfortably with our old churches any more, and that doesn't mean that they are bad churches, it just means that we might have grown out of them.
I guess I'll just have to wait and see - I have two more years on the pebble, and who knows where I stand with my faith after that. It might be that I will find a church within my denomination that I feel comfortable in, I might find a church in a different denomination, I might choose to go to a church I don't feel 100% great about and challenge some issues, or I might, like my friend, not go to church at all for a while. I reckon it won't be easy - but I hope it will be okay.