if in times of stress

i dont do praying and i dont really do hoping anymore. i think i am a little bit broken. this bollocksy last few years have been tough. i sometimes wonder if i in a computer simulation as the drama never bloody ends. from bankruptcy to stalkers to dark days to vat men to tax men. i know other people have it worse and it coykd be way worse. i just want it done. sorted. stopped. i am flopped and drinking alcohol.