City lights, faery lights

When I started keeping this blip journal I was writing letters to someone I hadn't met yet. I still haven't met him, I still think I will, but I don't think I can continue to write to him like this.
Since I've started coming here people that I know in Real Life come to visit it and have seen what I put up. I've always tried to be unflinchingly honest with this journal, but sometimes, knowing that people are watching, that is difficult. I don't want to stop this. Taking a picture every day and placing it here anchors me to the present, the now. Without it I'm not sure I could remember much about what happens to me day in, day out. But from now on I will write here to practise whatever skill I may have. I will write to and for myself, as well as for you and sometimes, him.
My Sociology teacher said that being raised on Disney movies had left me with a Cinderella complex. I suppose it goes pretty deep. It's not that I now choose to disregard the idea of having a romantic partner, but that I focus on teaching myself that having one doesn't bring wholeness. I can't pin my hopes on life starting when He shows up. There may be dozens of "He"s, or just a single one, but that isn't the point. Life is now. You have to be whole on your own.
When and if I get a He, I will make sure it is the kind of person who will be less concerned that I stopped writing to him, and prouder that I started writing for me.